Sunday, March 11, 2012

Non-Halloween Related Personal Musings By The Halloween Honey

This day-light savings time isn't screwing me up too terribly bad.  Mostly because today was such a beautiful day it was hard to be grumpy about losing an hour of sleep.  And I am not dreading tomorrow because I don't have to get up and go to work anywhere.

 I stay at home with my 16-month old daughter but I also do daycare for my 13-month old niece, so she is here bright and early, so I still do get up early in the morning, but it makes such a difference not having to be out of jammies and with any kind of game face on.  When I used to work a nine-to-five I would count the hours I had before I had to be at work.  I absolutely dreaded going to work (mostly because my last nine-to-five was a horrible place to work which I was fired from.)  At the end of this month I will have been without a traditional job for two years.  Along with my niece I also work at Party Papers in downtown Anoka one night a week, more if I'm needed, and a lot more during the month of October, and I have a gig walking dogs for a very busy CPA couple during tax season.  I have learned a lot about myself in these last two years.  Mainly that I can carry and birth a child without much trouble (even though I constantly complained about both....and the whole "birthing" part I guess is a stretch, I ended up having a c-section.) And that I am not cut out for the nine-to-five world.

I have worked full-time since I was seventeen.  College drifted in and out of there twice, both of which I never successfully completed.  The majority of my jobs were as a receptionist.  I took a brief three-and-a-half year dip in the retail pool working at Barnes and Noble, which was by far my favorite job.  But I craved normal hours, which is something you don't get working retail.  So I went back to the receptionist game always dreaming of doing something else.  What exactly, is unclear.  I was fired from my most recent reception job because I called my boss a bitch on the internet.  Which was not untrue, and I'm so hardheaded that I go back and forth between patting myself on the back for my bold choice which led to my ultimate firing, and feeling kinda bad about it (the latter emotion doesn't ever last very long.) I had just found out I was pregnant and my husband and I had just finished moving into our first house we purchased.  The timing was not excellent, but it really, truly, was the best thing that could have happened because it really worked out well with the whole daycare situation and my stress level.  

I have had my niece during the day now for nearly a year.  So many people have told me that I should become a licensed daycare provider, but I don't think I would tolerate children I am not related to very well, especially if they were ill-mannered or bratty in anyway.  Currently, my plan is to go back to work when the girls (my daughter and niece) start school in about four years.  What work I will go back to is unclear.  I have been thinking about this a lot lately ever since my daughter's first birthday.  It was almost like a clock started ticking, like "figure it out, bitch."  I'm pretty sure I am done having children, and I don't want to be one of those people who don't have any options once their first child starts school so they just have another baby (someone even said "have another baby!" when I was musing about this to them.  I was kind of insulted.)  I briefly considered homeschooling, for like half a second, mostly because public school scares me, and other peoples' children scare me, but then I came to my senses.

I still have four years to try and figure something out.  I do not foresee going back to school in my future because it's too frickin' expensive and I don't have the attention span for things I don't care to learn about anymore in my life (nor did I ever really. Math is a hazy blur in my brain.)  I want to contribute to society, and I know raising my daughter to be a respectful, thoughtful, accepting and understanding person is contributing to society, but she will be at school for nearly eight hours a day, I gotta fill my time somehow!

I know I am panicking about something that is quite a ways off in the future, but for some reason this thought keeps coming back to me.  I'm sure I will figure something out, and I know it will be hard for someone who was fired from the last full-time job they had and will have a five year gap in their resume, but I try to be a resourceful person, and I know a lot of people who know a lot of people and really, getting a job is mostly about who you know anyways, right?  My sister alone has gotten me three jobs in my lifetime!

Sorry, I know this post isn't about Halloween.  I had a nice Halloween-themed blog laid out in my head as I was putting my daughter to bed and then I was like "The clock says it's only 7:40 but it's really 8:40!  Gah!"  So I didn't have all that much time (or energy) to prepare it, so hopefully tomorrow night, folks!  Thanks for reading my ramblings if you've made it this far! 

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