Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Full Moon Fever

There is a full moon tonight!  You know what that means, crazies everywhere!  The full moon in July is known as the "hay moon" among....top moon experts, I guess.  Not only is tonight July's full moon, it's also one of the hottest days of the year, if not THE hottest day of the year.  It's going to be 100 degrees in MINNESOTA, a state which most people think is covered in snow 365 days of the year, but for those of us who live here know it gets pretty effing hot in the summer, but not 100 degrees hot!

This combination of the full moon and excessive heats makes me a little nervous.  Not for myself because if I experience lunacy or heat madness (not sure if that's a real thing) I will be going crazy in the comfort of my own home.  My husband, on the other hand, a retail manager, has to work tonight,  with the general public.  As someone who has spent a good majority of my working life working in retail and among the general public I know for a fact that this full moon business is no joke.  For starters, the General Public is pretty terrible already, add on top of that a lunar influence, I know really nothing about astrology, or the phases of the moon or anything so I am not going to start nattering on about something  have no real knowledge about, but let me tell you a good full moon story:

I used to work at a dermatology clinic.  Prior to this I worked at a mental health clinic.  On this full moon day, the two worlds collided!

 I worked at the front desk of this clinic with a group of other women.  It was nearing the lunch hour when patient flow starts to slow down and the doctors and nurses prepare to take their afternoon break.  A patient had checked in to see the doc, being the last patient of the morning around 11:30.  She was well-dressed, seemed very normal and unassuming.  She went and sat in the waiting room and helped herself to one of our magazines.  She was gone about a minute before she approached the front desk, "Is this correct?"  She asked me, pointing to the mailing label on the magazine.  "Minneapolis?"  I nodded and laughed, "Well, technically we are in Fridley, but ya know how mailing labels are."  She was still puzzled and slowly walked away and sat back down.  Moments later she approached my co-worker Joy, magazine in hand.  "This says 'Minnesota.'"  Joy nodded, "Yep," not really sure where the woman was going with this.  Again, the woman walked away and sat back down, Joy and I exchanged looks and went about our business.  One of the nurses went out into the waiting room to retrieve one of her other patients, this woman approached her, "Are we in Minnesota?!"  She asked the nurse.  The nurse was taken back by the question and kind of laughed, "...Yes."  Then the woman shoved the magazine under the nurse's nose and started going on about the mailing label saying Minneapolis, Minnesota.  The nurse told her that she was in Minneapolis, Minnesota and the mailing label was correct.  The nurse retrieved her patient, threw me and Joy a glance of "this chick is nuts" and went back to the clinic area .  We decide it would probably be best to let the doctor she was to see what was going on.  Again, the woman approached the desk and starts talking to Joy.  She is insistent that she took Hwy X and Y and she came from this town and that town and on and on and on....Joy soon realizes this woman thinks she is in Chicago, Illinois.  Joy's sister lives there and she is starting to recognize the street and town names.  Joy asks the woman to draw her a map, just to be sure.  The map started with O'Hare airport.  Joy took the map from the woman and says, "Okay. Thanks." smiled at her and walks back to the clinic area to let the doctor know what's up.  She wondered around the waiting room bewildered.  Well, the doc decides to look in her chart and sees that this poor woman is on a laundry list of mental health related medication and informs the clinic manager about what was going on just in passing.  The clinic manager (being the rotten dragon lady she is....) decides to call the police even though the doctor said he was going to take her back into clinic and assess her himself before he decides what action to take.  The police show up in record time and they start asking the woman where she thinks she is and all this stuff.  She begins to panic and an ambulance is called and this woman is hauled away to the nearest hospital.

Full moon, amirite?!

This isn't exactly a "Full moon!  People are so crazy!" story.  It's a really sad story.  It started out kind of funny and then it turned into the responsible people (the doctor) trying to do the responsible thing and take care of this woman in a responsible way, and ended with the clinic manager making a dumb decision and got the police involved when they didn't need to be.  It was probably just coincidental that this happened on a day that there was a full moon.  She had probably stopped taking her medication days prior and it resulted in this sort of confusion.

Maybe I should have told the story about the full moon night I was working at Barnes and Noble and a guy in a penis costume came running in, took a lap around the store and left.  But, ya know, that's the extent of that story.

What I'm trying to say (poorly) is that this mixture of full moon, lunacy and the oppressive heat which is creating a literal pressure cooker could really be great fodder for a horror story.  

Also, did you know that hospitals treat more dog bites on a full moon night?  

*I'm just going to chalk up this whole blog post to Full Moon Fever.  Tom Petty, you guys! 


1 comment:

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