She's Crafty

The word "crafts" brings up a lot of emotions in me.  Frustration, lameness, hot-glue-gun related pain, more frustration, blinding rage,  ...I am not the craftiest person in the world.  I have attempted, many, many times to do a craft (is it do a craft, or make a craft?)  Crafting is a hobby for stay-at-home-moms, which I am, but ya know, I'm like, cool, so it doesn't count.  My theory is, "Well, why would I make something if I can just buy it?"  It used to be a cost-saving measure for a lot of people, but now the materials to make something costs just as much, and sometimes more, as it is to just outright buy something already made, and (most of the time) made well.

The crafts I have attempted run the craft gamut. I have made two Queen-sized quilts in my lifetime.  I have made fairy crowns, scrapbooks, stamped some positive one-word statements on terracotta pots, I can hot-glue stuff on to other stuff and make it look halfway decent, but I find it...well, frustrating.  And it highlights my lack of artistic flare.  The visual arts are not my strong suite.  I can barely draw a stick-figure and I tried to take up painting, because I felt it was less rigid, room for people who don't necessarily paint stuff that looks like anything (Jackson Pollock!) but, alas, I even sucked at painting nothing in particular.

I want to attempt crafting again because I apparently like to have high blood pressure.  I want to do (make?) a Halloween craft.  But, what to make (do)?  What are my strengths when it comes to crafting?  The hot-glue gun.  What are my weaknesses?  Everything else.  Hmmm...

Here is a small sampling of my foray into the world of crafting:

See that shit on the top of me and Cori's head?  Those are my fairy crowns.  Making things that are suppose to look like you found them in the woods is easy.  You don't have to worry about things like symmetry or any kind of precision.  Just slap a bunch of stuff on a (not even all the round) ring and stick it on your head.  Ta-da!  Fairy crowns.

Here is one of the fascinators I made for the Royal Wedding in April of 2011.  That is my daughter Violet.  I took a picture of her wearing it since the rest of us looked like hell since we got up so early to watch the Royal Wedding.

  August of 2009.  The first completed square of my Halloween quilt.  I had made a quilt before, in 2007 for my sister.  My mother-in-law is a Quilting Extraordinaire.  She is an amazing quilter (that is her sewing room I am standing in) and helped me a lot with my first ever quilt, but this one I was more on my own.  It was brutal.

The finished product.  If quilts could talk this quilt would say, "Roxy has a filthy mouth."  My sister suggested I make another Halloween quilt for my craft, but I said if I were to blog about it (which I plan on doing) the blog would just be a series of swear words.  Sewing is also a great weakness of mine.  The word "bobbin" makes me physically angry.  Oh, this quilt also wasn't officially "finished" until October of 2010.  I was nearly nine months pregnant and could no longer easily move so I  gave in and finished hand-sewing the backing on to this motherfuc....lovely piece.

In my search for something that I would not only enjoying doing but easily finished (why am I either bothering?) I went to Michael's craft store for some inspiration.  And they also start putting out their fall/Halloween merchandise out in July!  I can't believe I waited this long to go!

The Michael's I went to had most of their fall flowers out but not too much Halloween.  They were clearly in the midst of switching over endcaps and that sort of thing because merch sat in boxes next to the intended display area.  You know what that means!  I have to go back in a few days to see what wasn't out yet!  Ha!  They also didn't have their Halloween Village set up yet.  Sigh...c'mon guys, it is July 21st!  I put up my Halloween village in August last year, and I'm not trying to sell anything (my village is spectacular, I can't wait to share it with you guys!) But, all is forgiven, because even though I wasn't struck with any great inspiration for a Halloween craft, I did buy my daughter some Tinkerbell Halloween stickers on the cheap (a dollar!) but I also hung out for like, an hour just to take be around it all:

Ahhh....summer will end.  Eventually.

I would have squeezed each and every one of these, but there were other customers around.  And I didn't want to seem like anymore of a weirdo than I already am.

Hehehe, look at this wee little bird!

Violet was NOT into these guys at all.  She wouldn't even look at them,.

But look at what good use they are put to!  I though for a brief moment that this could be my craft...but I can totally just buy it already made.  Is it logic or laziness?

I'm just going to ride out the rest of the summer right here.

"No...you're not, Mama."

"You done yet? Because this sippy isn't going to entertain me much longer."

So I bought her some stickers if she let me live three months into the future a little longer.

I am going to scour the internet for my craft, I think.  I always wanted to make wine cork witches, because I drink a lot of wine and I love witches, so it seems kind of like a no-brainer, but I'm not sure.  Maybe I'll go on Etsy and see things I can never hope to even begin to make and then attempt one of them and get even more frustrated and angry towards the idea of crafting.

 It's a vicious cycle.